This is 2013 !!
After so many days...........
Really there is nothing to write yet there are so many.................
Am jobless,now a days started saying retired...at least some conciliation
Guni running the show.....
when last I wrote Guni was jobless.....today by the grace of Baba  has a job, she is happy....now from Chicago moved to Michigan as her office is there....
Tapu also have taken up a school job...she is working as a teacher.....
her mother died end of last year.....
My last hope is the peace of Land in Bangalore....courtship is on..Baba only can save..........

JOBLESS MAN

lots happened in last 4/5 months.
Sadly We are moving backwards...things are from bad to wares...
I Lost my job and yet to get one..though trying very heard but nothing at sight till dt.............
Tapu had a major health problem...admitted to KMCH at coimbarore...her gallbladder had to remove..thank god total expenses given by Shiridi Sai Baba Tample (Bangalore).

At that point thought Things are going to improve definitely as That was a real MIRACLE.
The time I took her at 12 night to TMC(local hospital) for sever stomach pain, had only few hundreds in my pocket,by 3' night they said things are out of their control and to be shifted in a good hospital.
Called JHUMUR who came around 4.30 and took her to KMCH (Coiambatore) in an ambulance as no relaiable Hospital in Tirupur.
JHUMUR lent me Rs.10,000 that morning,otherwise what I would have done god only knows..
After Medical checkup
It was detected that she have Stones in her gallbladder and to be operated immediately... She called Mr.Sekhar Raju and explained hole situation..he assured not to be worried for money in stead to concentrate on Health...she also called her sisters but that's a deferent story......
She was admitted and next day she was operated but during operation doctors found her gallbladder got damaged and had to remove total Galbladder.......
I had to stay with Tapu in the hospital 8 days as there were none with us other than BABA.
Mr.Sekhar Raju what has done is unexplainable...In this world such people are also there....such miracles also happens...

Durga pooja for this year is over.
Siting at home since Durai(high fashions intl) declared his in ability to pay salaries and dues like bonus ,in that process am loosing my one month salary+ bonus.
last year and year before he did not bother to pay any benefit to me!
He has taken the advantage of paying 1.5 lakhs which he gave as lone during Guni's departure to USA.
I have nothing to say as at that point of time the amount he gave as lone was really helpful,though he has taken full advantage of that till date.
No increment nor any bonus or any benefits for last 3 years!and salary only-15000 a month!
Though I could not manage a better job since then!!!
Looking for a job,god only knows what stored .
On other side Guni is struggling for survival,trying her best to come out from all odds.
Don't know really what to do at this stage ,only prayers can save us but in empty stomach pryer
dose not come specially from me...........

29/08/2011

It is 2 weeks now guni left India.
I find very peculiar changes in her and finding it very difficult to understand,now a days she is always up set,words are very strong which is very difficult to digest.
Why it is so! can't understand.
She is so far from us now a days .
PRAY TO BABA ,PLEASE SAVE US.

06-08-2011

Two more days to go.
Guni leaving on 08-08-2011 Monday night for Delhi by Kerala exp ,from Delhi she will fly to Chicago by KLM .
The idea by going train to Delhi because of luggage,domestic airways permits only 20 kg as baggage
where as foreign airways takes 45 kgs, she does not want to pay extra .
Honestly,when she came I was not that thrilled but when she is going mind is heavy and wet,
god only knows why we are so selfish,
while she was coming I was worried thinking how to manage with extra expenses,with Baba's blessings some how managed and now time to repent.

Find, with time and situation Guni became strong and taking decisions which she fills appropriate
for her,it's good as my thinking and policy's went to pits and made her looser.
The only wish today -she should get everything in the world as she deserves.
Baba bless her.

05/08/2011

Days are really bad.
High Fashions almost gone case,most of the staffs were shown the door from this month saying they will be called after 3 months ,god only knows how they will run their livelihood and really they will be called or not!as there is no real opening for business.
I have not seen such a person in my this life,such a greedy but careless person who thinks what ever he does every one will accept and the world will run as per his wish,he does not know anything other than telling lye's but people falls in his trap by his smile and simplicity assuming him a nice guy but in reality he is a very unreliable person.
Including me four staffs are in the company as on date,absolutely no work,from 09 to 08 how to pass time is a big equation mark specially for me as neither I have friends hear nor can watch movies round the clock that too Tamil.
guys in this company are very fond of songs,always Tamil songs are been played in the office with out any hesitation.
The say ''A fish is known by it's head ''is appropriately applicable for this organization.
Speaking to people also forwarding my Bio data for job but my luck is not good ,am going through a very bad phase of my life god only knows by when this be over,it's too long ...........
After closer of ITC Agency divn way back 1996 every thing went wrong in my life,lost vision.
At this situation really don't know in which direction life will move but bottom of my heart know
that I have to work,can't think a life without work,rest he only knows.

29-07-2011

This morning Guni left for Bangalore by train.
Tapu went to r/station to send off, according to her plan she will be returning Monday night.
Honesty neither Tapu nor me happy for this trip as where she will be staying is undecided but
mostly in Siddhartha's place !
I fully agree it is almost impossible to stay in Tirupur as there is no social life and an atmosphere
which one can enjoy,we are leaving here for our livelihood.
God is kind enough to give an opportunity to earn our bread in this desert like place(according to us).
Guni have changed a lot,must be for her good,she takes her own decisions.
It is difficult to judge as situation and time and change more over my state of condition.
Practically I could do nothing for her to fill her happy,what ever she is doing doing on her own,on the contrary she is supporting to manage in many issues to solve financially.
Now she fills our relation is hanging on money,she sounded also but is it not a naked truth!!
Now a days almost all issues are related with money as due to my financial position many a things remains unsolved and getting multiplied hence when ever I try to pull one thread it starts
opening up issues one after another and most of them related to financial affair and that makes her upset.
She is still young and to my believe she will realize with her age and experiences what lower middle class families go through and in what situation we are in.
There is no doubt by the grace of BABA she will lift herself from this class status and place in a
position where in day to day life money matter not been discussed on regular basis.

MY GUNI,

Last night while she was talking over phone she was crying...
I don't know why for me it is very easy to understand her pulse, can read her well.
understood there is something wrong with Aditya.
Guni told me once she had soft corner for Aditya and he approached her to marry
but guni did not agree as a responsible child she preferred to stand for her parents and with heavy heart denied the proposal and eventually that guy got married but unfortunately that marriage ended with a divorce.
This fact also Guni bought to my notice and told they are in contact as good friends
but from my bottom of my heart I knew he will knock the door and that's happened
last night and Guni could not place him before her carrier and future.
Rightly she is looking for her security in life,her father is a cropper and anything goes wrong with marriage it will be a disouster as no one knows real reason why and for what he got divorced.
According to me she has taken a right decision though I gave her a free hand to chose what she fill good for her.
I felt very bad last night for my child and could not sleep properly.
I know her pain, sorrow and determination,I know what she has gone through
to establish her,though it is not completed and not accomplished but her steps towards that direction is flawless till date.
wish her all the success not because I am her father but as an individual who sow her so closely .
Baba should bless her to achieve her what she want the most.

HIGH FASHIONS IN BAD SHAPE

Situation is very bad with High Fashions,no orders in hand as on date,at one stroke
21 orders got cancelled as buyers lost confidence since we were not truthful and sincere towards our commitments.
things are realty really bad,it's sinking ,financially looks like bankrupt.
Because of insufficient funds always salaries get delayed but this month employes
are getting payment only today 20/07,god only knows what will happen next month.
Guni is in Bangalore now,she went Chennai first and from their to Bangalore and expected in tirupur tomorrow.
Thanks god,She is away otherwise what I would have done without money can't think.
she is leaving for USA on 10th of August.

26/05/2011

AFTER A LONG LONG TIME AM ON BLOG,EVEN CANT REMEMBER WHEN WROTE LAST.
GUNI IS IN INDIA,CAME ON 13/05/2011,AFTER CLOSE TO TWO AND HALF YEARS!
THERE IS IS NOTHING TO HIDE - AM NOT THAT HAPPY AS SUPPOSE TO BE,FOR THE SIMPLE REASON
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR HER,A PENNY-LESS PERSON/FATHER,STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL.
PEOPLE WILL BE SURPRISED AND ASK WHAT TYPE OF FATHER I AM!

THINGS ARE SO BAD AROUND ME THAT TIMES FILL IT IS NOT WRATH LEAVING.
TRYING TO RUNAWAY FROM LIFE AND RESPONSIBILITY! LIKE A COWARD!
YES! NO SHAME TO SAY SO,COULD NOT ACHIEVE ANY THING FOR LAST 10 LONG YEARS,NOW WHAT!
SURE I AM NOT CAPABLE OR USELESS OTHERWISE DEFINITELY SOME THING WOULD HAVE WORKED OUT,ALL IS MY FAULT,MY INABILITY TO GRAB THE RIGHT OPPORTUNITY.
NO COMPLAINT TOWARDS ANY ONE,IT IS ME WHO FAILED IN LIFE MISERABLY AS I AM INCOMPETENT AND INCAPABLE.

GUNI IS IN CALCUTTA,
RATNA'S SON HAD THREAD CEREMONY FUNCTION,TOPU WENT ALONG WITH HER MOTHER WHO CAME HEAR FOR FEW DAYS,WE SUGGESTED GUNI TO ARRIVE CALCUTTA AND ACCORDINGLY SHE CAME VIA DELHI FROM CHACAGO.
ALSO GUNI WRITING GRE EXAM FROM ALLAHABAD ON 30TH OF THIS MONTH,AS IT CLOSER TO CALCUTTA THAN TIRUPUR,THAT'S ALSO ONE REASON WE SUGGESTED HER TO ARRIVE IN CALCUTTA.
SHE PLANS TO BE IN TIRUPUR AROUND 5TH JUNE DEPENDING AVAILABILITY OF TICKET.

AM SURROUNDED WITH PROBLEMS,HIGH FASHIONS INTL WHERE AM EMPLOYED IS IN DEEP TROUBLE,MAINLY FINANCIAL,WHICH CAUSED BY POOR MANAGEMENT,BY MR.DURAI HIMSELF.
SEEMS IT'S SINKING,ALL ORDERS GETTING CANCELLED,BUYER LOST CONFIDENCE IN HIM.
THE MAIN PROBLEM IS HE GIVES ALL WRONG INFORMATION AND TELL LIES WHICH CAN'T BE COVERED OR CORRECTED TOWARDS THE END AND WITH RESULT TRUTH COMES OUT WITH UGLY FACE.

AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
SALARY IS NOT COMING ON TIME ,NO COMMITMENTS ARE BEEN MET,HOUSE RENT,CREDILA LONE,ETC .
DON'T KNOW WHAT IS STORED FOR ME/US.

GUNI WORKING ON NIGHT SHIFTS.

HAD A TALK WITH GUNI YESTERDAY ON SKYPE AFTER QUITE SOME TIME.
SHE WAS WORKING IN NIGHT SHIFT,IT APPEARS VERY OFTEN SHE IS WORKING ON NIGHTS,SHE SAYS MONY IS MORE AND ALSO SAYS SHE LIKES IT AS PAYMENT IS MORE,SHE HAS ANOTHER PRETEXT THAT IS WORKING IN NIGHTS HELPS HER TO REDUCE WAIGHT.
IT'S REALY FUNNY,UNHEARD OFF.
NOW A DAYS I PREFER NOT TO GIVE SUGESTIONS AS THAT IS STUPIDE,DON'T HAVE ABILITY TO HELP BUT TO OFFER HOLE LOTS OF SUGETIONS IS ABSULUITLY NONSENCE.
GOONI IS COMFORTABLE TO SPEAK WITH TAPU AS IT IS VERY EASY TO CONVINCE HER AND BRING HER UNDER THE UMBRELA WITH MINIMUM IMOTIONSAL TOUCH, BUT IN MY CASE IT IS NOT SO.
SHE KNOWS IT IS NOT EASY TO CONVINCE ME,YESTERDAY I UNDERSTOOD SHE IS STRUGLING FOR MONEY AND THAT IS THE REASON OF ALL THESE NIGHT WORK YET
TRYING TO SHOW THAT SHE IS HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT STORED FOR US.
TAPU'S HEALTH IS ALSO NOT WELL,HAD A TALK THIS MORNING,HAVING THROT PAIN AND SORE THROT.

LIFE IS SAME

LIFE IS SAME FOR YEARS.
IT IS LIKE OLD HOUSE,COLOR IS PEALING BECAUSE OF LACK OF MAINTENANCE.
SAME OLD STORY OF STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL,EVERY MORNING I OPEN MY EYES WITH PAIN OF UNSUCCESSFUL AND HELPLESSNESS.
GUNI IS ALSO TOO MUCH DISTURBED,POOR CHILD NOT GETTING A JOB,WORKING IN GAS STATION!
THAT TOO IN NIGHT SHIFT!JUST FOR SURVIVAL,BEING A FATHER PAIN IS INEXPRESSIBLE.
EVERYONE ENJOYED NEW YEAR,BUT WE DIDN'T.
DON'T KNOW WHEN THIS MISERY WILL BE OVER.
ALMOST STOP ED WRITING ON BLOG AS THERE IS NOTHING TO WRITE...

MY MOTHER IS NO MORE

NOTHING HAVE CHANGED IN THIS WORLD,LIFE IS NORMAL AS USUAL ,NONE OF THE ACTIVITY'S OF NATURE HAVE GONE WRONG,ONLY SHE IS NOT THERE.
MY MOTHER IS NO MORE.

SHE BREATHED HER LAST ON 27TH SEPT MONDAY 5.30 EVENING (AS PER MEDICAL REPORT).
I AM UPSET NOT BECAUSE OF HER DEATH SINCE ONE HAS TO GO AS AND WHEN CALL COMES AND THAT TRUTH IS ACCEPTABLE ALL OVER THE GLOBE BUT AM TERRIBLY DISTURBED AND SADDEN THE WAY SHE DYED.
TO ME SHE WAS KILLED BY DOCTORS JUST BECAUSE OF NEGLIGENCE'S AND LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ALSO FOR MONEY.
WE SONS ARE ALSO RESPONSIBLE AS WE COULD NOT OFFER HER BEST TREATMENT,COULD NOT AFFORD HER TO PUT IN A BEST HOSPITAL.
AS LONG I LIVE HER SUFFERINGS WILL BE ALWAYS IN MY MIND,SUCH PAINFUL END YET SHE NEITHER COMPLAINED NOR SPOKE A WARD.
NOW I AM ALONE ,WITHOUT A GARDIAN,WITHOUT A SHALTER,THERE IS NONE WHO WILL LOOK FOR ME IN CALCUTTA WHO WILL ASK WHEN I WILL COME...................

MOTHER

MY MOTHER IS NOT WELL,SHE IS SERIOUSLY ill.
AS A SON WHAT AM I TO DO!
THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE-GO AND SEE.
RIGHT NOW I HAVE NO MONEY TO GO TO CALCUTTA UNLESS BROW BUT FROM WHOM!
SO MUCH LONE WE HAVE TAKEN THAT PEOPLE/SO CALLED RELATIVES ARE SCARED TO GIVE LONE
FEARING HOW WE WILL PAY BACK! I DON'T BLAME THEM AS THEY ARE 100% CORRECT.
FOR US ALL AVENUES ARE CLOSED AT THE MOMENT.
NOTHING IS WORKING FOR US.
YESTERDAY HAD A TALK WITH JHUMUR,TOLD HIM MY CONDITION ALSO SAID IN CASE MATTER
IS TOO BAD TO INFORM ME,SOME HOW I WILL BE THERE.
HE SAID FEW TESTS ARE TO BE CONDUCTED AND THEN ONLY DOCTORS CAN SAY WHAT IS THE
ACTUAL PROBLEM AND SUBSEQUENTLY JHUMUR WILL INFORM ME.
PREY TO GOD SHE SHOULD BE OK.

GOONI'S COMPUTER

IT'S A LONG TIME WE HAVE NOT SEEN GOONI ON SKYPE AS HER COMPUTER HAS PROBLEM.
I WAS TOLD THAT THERE IS CHARGING PROBLEM ,IN NUTSHELL HER COMPUTER IS NOT IN USE AT PRESENT.
VERY UPSET AS I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW SHE IS MANAGING WITHOUT THAT,I DON'T HAVE MONEY
TO HELP HER,EVEN DON'T FIND ANY SOURCES TO BORROW,EVEN I AM INCAPABLE TO REPAY LONE
AT THIS STAGE.
WHAT TO DO!WHERE TO GO I DON'T KNOW.
ONLY THING I KNOW MY DAUGHTER IS IN DEEP TROUBLE AND FIGHTING FOR SURVIVAL.
SHE IS ALONE............

EVERY INCH IS SAME

I am so surprised to see gooni's graph of life which almost matches with me.
how it is possible!
every inch can be matched with each other till date.
only deference she is academic where as i am scared of study's.
when i memories her harassment during her college days,i really pay my gratitude to her for her currage and determination.
i my case i lost vision and adopted wrong line where as she stuck to her line and goal besides all odds,hats off to her.
even today the amount of stress and problem she is facing and fighting for survival is out standing.
I PREY TO BABA TO SAVE HER ,TO SUPPORT HER.
Tapu left this morning for Bangalore to attend GURU POURNIMA POOJA at BABA'S TEMPLE.

BHARAT BANDH 05/07/2010

To day is bharat bandh.
Country wide bandh,protest against price hike of petrol,gas and necessary commodity's.
Will this help! I don't so and believe may will accept my views.

Tapu is at Bangalore,had a talk day before, she seems to be happy as usual when ever
she visit Baba's temple.
Had a talk with Gooni last night,she only called to say from New york they have moved
to north Carolina and from there to Chicago.
Times heard to believe how she is managing everything !
Baba should help and bless her.

WHEN THIS PHASE WILL BE OVER GOD ONLY KNOWS.
NOTHING IS WORKING WITH US.
THINGS ARE BECOMING BAD TO WORSE.
I AM NOT EXPECTING A MIRACLE,WHAT I AM LOOKING IS WITH IN POSSIBILITIES SOMETHING TO
HAPPEN......
FIRST THING- MY SMALL PCS OF LAND TO GET SOLD,I SHOULD GET AN OPPORTUNITY FROM WHERE
I CAN EARN LITTLE MORE CONSIDERING MY EXPERIENCE AND WORKING ABILITY,GOONI SHOULD GET
HER DUES,SHE SHOULD GET AN OPPORTUNITY OF A GOOD EARNING.
IF ANY ONE OF THIS WORKS THINGS CAN HAVE A FACE LIFT..BUT NOT HAPPENING.
THREE OF US ALL ALONG PREYING FOR AT LEAST ONE TO HAPPEN, YET .........

POSSIBLE I HAVE TO BLAME MYSELF FOR THIS SITUATION.
WHY I AM NOT FLOURISHING IN MY WORKING PLACES ! ARE EVERYONE BAD OTHER THAN ME!
NO ,IT IS NOT POSSIBLE.
ONCE SEKHER KEDIA TOLD I AM REALLY NO FIT FOR PRIVATE COMPANY'S.
WHICH IS TRUE.
WORKING IN A PRIVET COMPANY IS ALSO AN ART,ONE HAS TO KNOW THIS ART MORE THAN HIS EFFICIENCY AND HEARD WORK, WORKING LIKE DOG WILL NOT DO,IT SHOULD BE PROJECTED IN SUCH A MANNER THAT OWNER OF THE COMPANY REALIZES THAT HE/SHE IS HEARD WORKING AND SCIENCER,ALWAYS THE MOTTO SHOULD BE TO IMPRESS THE BOSS,ALWAYS TO BE GIVEN AN IMPRESSION THAT -I AM THE PERSON WHO THINKS ABOUT THE COMPANY MORE THAN ANY ONES ELSE!

I COULD NOT MOLD MYSELF IN TO THAT METAL.
THIS IS A FAILURE,BIGEST FAILURE.
CAN'T IMPRESS PEOPLE JUST LIIKE THAT,WHO EVER IT MAY BE,NEVER COULD ACT AS YES MAN TO ANY ONE.
THEN HOW TO PROSPER!
NO WAY.
WITH THIS COMPLEX GROWTH REALLY NOT POSSIBLE.
IT IS TOO LATE NOW, I CAN'T CHANGE MYSELF NOW,WHAT I DO!STILL LOT OF UNFINISHED JOB AND DUTIES ARE THERE.
BABA SHOW ME WAY.

nothing new

There is nothing new in life,life became a pure joke.
started writing in blog with lots of enthusiasm but everything everything got evaporated just kike that,today i don't have anything to off,daily same story of pain and sorrow.
when sent gooni to USA had lots of dream but today fear to dream as today what ever
we touch turns to ashes.
gooni is suffering there and we are hear,this is the fact and reality of to day.